Field Notes January 3, 2015 and a Prayer

small stone #20

Hail Mary full of grace

So moved by the passing of someone I don’t even know, and yet I do.
He was a son, a husband, a friend. Every mother understands when a child’s heart ceases to beat;
whether her own or someone else’s. In Tibetan Buddhism the teaching is that we were all each other’s mother
in one life or another.

gate gate parasamgate bodhi svaha

Death so close in the form of my son’s fiancé. A rawness and broken heart. Broken open and exposed revealing
new depths of compassion and empathy. It could have been him. It still could be him.
Acceptance of death, whether my son’s, my lover’s or anyone close.
No, anyone.
I keep being shown, over and over, life and death walk side by side.
Breath, no breath. Breath, no breath.
Ordinary. Extraordinary.
Side by side.

om shanti, shanti, shanti

We all die, and it never looks right.
We say; untimely, tragic, snuffed out, lost their battle. Never the right circumstances.
Never the right time.
There is no right time. Even when someone takes their own life, do they know when it will be?
We leave at precisely the correct time and not a moment before.

Pema Chodron says, “As we become more open, we might think that it’s going to take bigger catastrophes to make us want to exit in our habitual ways. The interesting thing is that, as we open more and more, it’s the big ones that immediately wake us up and the little things that catch us off guard. However, no matter the size, color, or shape of the catastrophe, the point is to continue to lean into the discomfort (my italics) of life and see it clearly rather than try to protect ourselves from it.”***

Hail Mary, full of grace,
gate gate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha,
om, shanti, shanti, shanti.

For Hari, Erin and all who have gone ahead.

oh brilliant, shining, tenderness, of luminous ineffable.

***Comfortable With Uncertainty, 108 Teachings by Pema Chodron

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