Fieldnotes January 5 & 6, 2015


Flickering light.  Alone time.
In a house. In the mountains. Above the city. Under the shining waning moon.
Make images. Building thoughts and ideas with words lined up one next to the other.

If I let go of worrying, how will I fill my time?
When I let go of fear, can I allow the empty space to “be” before I rush in
to fill it up with…
another thought, fear, worry, scenario, storyline?

I read in a book recently that when we experience an emotion, the physiological part lasts for a minute and a half.
And, everything else that follows? The story we’ve attached to it. Our own clinging.
Perhaps we do this; replay events, over and over, because the thing that happened is/was unbelievable or confusing or not the “usual something that occurs.”

We keep looking at it from various angles to getter a better view?
Try to wrap our heads around what happened?
We ask, “what did happen? Was I present? Could I have said or done things differently? Was it real?
There is no control, not really.
And I find, once again that, bright shiningness of unconditional love is the only truth.
There’s no complication in this. It sound simplistic and still,
it’s everything.
Yes, it is.

We replay to learn, to understand. Can I/we learn and understand without being obsessed?
Can I say, “Oh, I see” and set it free?

We’ll see.

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