Don’t Go back to Sleep


You’re never quite sure, when annihilation hits, what it will look like. What it will feel like. How long it will last. 23 days. This time. Burning through a re-surfacing process meant to scrape clean. Clean. the taste of life comes from you*

It looked a little like this: What is the fear? Lineage entanglements. Rough. Feeling others’ pain. Clean and clear. Clarity. Honor.Organic. Sitting with. Walking. It’s not about the teachings. More emptiness. Grief. calm in the midst of lightning.*

Radiance Sutras*** May I be a conduit/container for the unknown. “Grief becomes freedom when the “I” is removed.” Planets and days conjoin. Concessions. Somatic understandings. Mycellium: vegetative part of a fungus. Re-constructing the identity. “The body as second placenta.” Gestural. Formations.
Concinnity: skillful and harmonious arrangement or fitting together of the different parts of something.

De-colonize: when a nation seeks to become free of the oppressor (regime). De-construction of realities.
Spanda~ creative vibrations. Mother Mary everywhere. “Magic is science yet to be discovered.”
Cognizant dissonance. Subtlety.
Mars energy ~ rough at the edges. Continuous question: “Who says?”
I don’t have time for rebuttal. For bullshit. (including and especially my own). Feeling. Go to the feeling. Early morning yoga practice. 2.5 hours of chanting.
Virus. Bringing people together. Allergies. Mother Gaia telling us to STOP.
have you been a fish dissatisfied with the ocean?*

Reiki. Symbols. And then…
Do I want to return/complete? Purification. Tenderness. Patience. Death & Re-birth.
Chiron~”death medicine.” Inner processing at previously unknown levels. No words.

Sambhava: Intimacy with what you love about life.
This is now. Now is.*

“Ask your body to teach you.” Radiance Sutras***
“When we listen, we activate.” Emily
Sheltering in place. We are now on-line. 
“Anchor the light.” PSS

this morning: it’s alright to have fear around this virus. It’s not about being afraid to die, it’s more about fear of living through having it. I won’t pretend this feeling is there. Recognized. Felt. Brought into the full expression right along side joy and freedom and gratitude and wonder.  and curiosity and anger and disappointment.  There. I said it. I’m allowed. The breeze at dawn has secrets to to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.*

The Beloved Shares Her Secret
Dorothy Walters, PHD**

I can’t help it.
I keep on wondering
who you are,
why you keep coming,
how you are connected to me.

I think of a face, invisible
and smiling.

And then a voice says,
“Of course, you know me.
How could you not?
I am you and I have
never left.”

“When you eat,
I am the taste
of the food you swallow.
When you hear music,
I send thrills of joy
through your body.
When you sleep,
I manufacture your dreams.

When you write,
you speak with my tongue.

Know that I love you,
for you are mine,
crafted from the same essence,
made of the same substance,
flame and burning candle,
always one.”


*Rumi quotes
**The Kundalini Poems by Dorothy Walters, PHD
***The Radiance Sutras, Lorin Roche, PHD

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