“You can rise to a level of not knowing that’s untouched by entropy.”
“Even if mind never operates as slowly as the speed of starlight, your future dwells gracefully in the space of your imagining.”
A Treatise on Stars, by Mei Mei Berssenbrugge
It’s been a few months since I’ve written here. I have my daily journal, which includes the daily astrological report I receive from my “space weather” mentor (link @ bottom). I have my journal for my Miksang (contemplative) photography class I’m taking. Another journal for Miksang teacher training I’ve just begun. There’s my notebook keeping track of the Novena (rosary practice), I’m doing daily. Oh, and lastly, a notebook for healing sessions I’ve been participating in since February with a group of womxn on line.
Perhaps today’s entry is about integration. What has been going on? How are all these seemingly separate journal entries/classes/practices affecting me? What am I doing with all of them? What’s the purpose? It feels like a main theme has been about centralizing. Focusing. Centeredness. Getting grounded in a newer ungrounded way. What I do know (today), everything new brought forth will shift and change; with more rapidity than in the past. There’s no holding on to any of it.
New idea? Grab it or it’s gone. Dream state? Write it down while it’s happening or it will slip through the numinous night. Emotion (s). Joy? Fleeting. Anger? Dissolving. Neutrality? Is it possible? Sitting in the middle of the ocean on a raft. Kind of like the main portion of the movie version of, “The Life of Pi.”
And books…fiction, poetry, buddhist, contemplative, self-help.
Oh! and the astrology! Uploads/downloads/connecting to source. Experiencing the everything-ness of it all inside. This “Mary-ness” containing it all. Untethering the the foundational woven-ness at the core of this Mary. All of the things once held as truth, unconsciously, simmering to the surface to evaporate. And,
There have been two nights of dreaming concurrent with this latest full moon in Pisces. So intimate and directly one with Source and Mary (mother/Our Lady/Goddess), I’ve wanted to share and I’m finding, I cannot. They feel too precious and personal to speak out loud.
That’s the thing, really. These tethering/attachments/conditioned states of Marys being are leaving and replacements aren’t necessary. Why? Because this new space/entry, the unknown, won’t allow for it. There will be no naming of things. There will just be the being-ness of every moment.
In the Atmospheric healing session last evening, our guide* had us connect with our clavicle and her connection to the ribs and it’s relationship to our breathing. Our heart and lungs and thorax and esophagus moving rhythmically together.
And this idea of piezo/as pressure/another word for pressurize. *Short for atmospheric pressure.” I had this understanding our bones (all of them) have the capacity to “take in” information from the “outside-ness” of our physical form. Perhaps, one could say, the receiving begins with each inhalation (inspiration). I’m not just taking oxygen into the bloodstream. Now my awareness is telling me, I’m receiving whatever information is necessary or required to live in this body/form/structure named Mary.
Perhaps this is why I’ve been given so many different names in this life. The name given to me at birth; Mary Therese. The additional name (Elizabeth) chosen at my (catholic) confirmation when I was 12. A series of spiritual names connected with the spiritual lineage (s) I was with at the time: Chiti (shakti), Tenzin Drolmo, Myotai and Sita Chandjoti. The first three pertaining to universal consciousness/steel mind/subtle wisdom. Sita Chandjoti I received as part of my Kundalini yoga teacher training (that will have to be for another post).
So many names for all the many Mary’s that have existed/are existing as she inhales and exhales and allows her bones to receive what is wanting to be known.
Until the present. There.
And not yet known/brought into this now-ness.
And there has been the weight of all things. This time of being humin.
I feel it it my bones.~
My current support teams:
*Emily Sullivan – listenerliving.com
~Way of the Rose (facebook group) & book : “The Way of the Rose: The Radical Path of the Divine Feminine Hidden in the Rosary“, by Clark Strand & Perdita Finn
~spaceweathertransmissions.com (daily astrology intel by Paramatma Siri Sadhana)
And this book, changing my life once cell at a time: “The Great Cosmic Mother:Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth“, by Monica Sjoo & Barbara Mor